My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i think i just lost a toe
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize