i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
