I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize