Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up under a house in Key West
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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