I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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