Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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