should my penis look like a turkey
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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