woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
