All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
