since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
