I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize
