Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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