All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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