Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
