i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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