You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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