She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
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Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
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My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!