I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
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You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
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WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean