No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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