Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
