i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
