I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
