Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
