Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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