even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize