omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize