That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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