your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
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You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
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I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
And then he peed in my hair
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