What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
