but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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