I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize