i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
