Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
