I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
