I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize