i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
