But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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