So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
