it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
