It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
