we have officially lost it.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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