Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My vagina is officially offended.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
