College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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