that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
