Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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