He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
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You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
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We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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