We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
