Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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