Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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