My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
