How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
