is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just pee around me
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So vagazzling was a success
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
