that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
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at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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