Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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