Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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