I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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