Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
