I want you more than these girls want KFC
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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