dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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