6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
